God is so good. That phrase has been on repeat in my brain recently. But it’s not because everything is great. It’s not because I’m feeling on top of the world and like all is right. I’ve been struggling. I’ve felt overwhelmed. I’ve felt down. I’ve felt sad. BUT even in the midst of those feelings, God has been working, showing Himself to be mighty, showing that He loves me. How can I say that when I’ve not felt “happy”? Because of God and all His gentle, loving reminders He’s placed about me lately, that He’s whispered to me in that still small voice.
I’ve been through trials before and I will have more in the future, but through each one I’ve learned to hear the voice of God better. Many trials ago, I didn’t feel like I could even hear His voice. At first, I wondered if there even was a voice to be heard, if He was really there. If He was, I felt sure He didn’t care enough to speak to me, that I wasn’t up to par, that I wasn’t one of His favorites, that I wasn’t good enough for Him to speak to me. Then I learned that He was there, but it seemed like the trial was so loud and overbearing it drowned out that still small voice that offered peace in the midst of the trial. I let the noise overtake me and refused to believe that still small voice when it offered me truth instead of falsehood. I felt myself drowning in the lies I believed about God, the lies I believed about myself. But then came the day, when I faced a trial and I heard that still small voice and recognized it for what it was, the voice of God guiding me through, giving me something to cling to, hope to hold on to. Still, I struggled to really believe it at times, to focus on that truth, to see the love behind the voice. Now, as I face another trial, I hear the voice better it seems and more quickly than before. I recognize the small provisions and glimpses of hope and I praise Him for them even though I still struggle. I thank Him for the way He is providing for me, for the way He is drawing me to Him, for the way I am now starting to hear the love He has for me as I hear that still small voice and as I read His Love Letter to me. All because He has wooed me, all because He has worked through the defenses previously in place that wouldn’t allow Him in all the way, that wouldn’t let me believe He really did love me. I have felt His love as He has revealed Himself to me, as He has revealed and reminded me of the truth of His Word. Each trial has brought me a step closer to that place and each future trial will make me more intimately acquainted with The One Who Saves, The One Who Redeems, The One Who Loves and Is Love.
The struggles in our lives can truly be blessings in disguise. Looking back I can see that—because I know Him more intimately and in a new way than I did before I went through the struggle. The struggles can be gifts, opportunities to know a new aspect of God, to discover more of His love and how deep it is and how much He knows us and loves us. It’s hard to even put it into words what I’ve discovered about God and His character through the trials—His faithfulness, His goodness, how much He loves us, that He truly is to be trusted.
Recently, He’s been whispering, reminding me of how He’s worked in my life, of the blessings in disguise, of the hope I have to hold onto because He loves me. I’ve known His love for me in a new way as I’ve listened to Him and I’ve been brought to a place of thanking and praising Him. Thanking Him for all He has done, for drawing me to Him, for changing me, for making me different. Thanking Him for Him being real to ME personally, for Him taking the time to make my relationship with Him more of my own each day, for drawing me out of myself and out of dependence on others instead of Him, for bringing me closer to Him being my satisfaction.
I’ve gone from believing lies that said it’s too difficult to get to know Him, that I can’t personally hear from Him, that He doesn’t want to speak to me to knowing His love for me is real and deep.
How have the trials in your life caused you to know God in a new and more intimate way? How have the trials in your life been blessings in disguise?
Blessings by Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise