This Crazy Life

Hello! You may have noticed that it’s been a while since I posted anything. We’ve kind of been in a crazy season of life that hasn’t left much room or time for doing anything outside of what is absolutely necessary, so blogging had to be placed on the back burner for a bit. I’d like to spend this post sort of catching you up on some things—where I’ve been and what’s been happening.

Back in October, I began to feel the conviction that things were not all as they should be with this blog anymore. I had felt the conviction for a while, but had been ignoring it. At the time, I was going through Priscilla Shirer’s Discerning the Voice of God Bible Study with a group of ladies at our church. As we went through it, it only helped confirm that God was showing me things needed to change. I could no longer ignore it.

You see, my blog had gotten to a point where it was pretty much book reviews only. But that was not why I had started my blog. That was not the reason or purpose that God had given me for it. This blog was started because of a calling, a conviction by the Holy Spirit to share things He had been teaching me. To share with others my struggles and how God was working in my life so that they also might find hope in Him. Over time, I discovered the joy of book reviewing and added that to my blog, which wasn’t a bad thing, in and of itself. The problem was that it had taken over. I no longer had time to blog about the things God had originally called me to blog about because of commitments I made to review books on my blog. I began to feel that God was calling me to take a break from book reviewing on my blog and get back to what He had first called me to do with it.

Up to that point, I had been trying to ignore what God had been convicting me of concerning my blog. But I had finally reached a point where I knew I couldn’t continue to do that nor did I want to. I didn’t want to dull the voice of God in my life by continuing to ignore it, by not doing what I knew He was calling me to do. Even though it might not be popular, even though it might not be what people want to read compared to book reviews, I could no longer ignore that voice, that conviction. I could not let fear stand in the way of doing what I knew God had called me to do. His will is too important to me. Obeying Him, loving Him is too important to keep going down that path. He is so good to me—to convict me, to want to use me, to give me the privilege of Him working in and through me—I didn’t want to tell Him “no” anymore. I want open communication with Him. I want the freedom and victory that I know comes with obeying Him, that freedom and victory that I have experienced before when I have yielded and obeyed His calling, His conviction. I want the anticipation and joy of watching Him be at work in my life.

After much prayer, I decided I would finish up the book reviewing commitments I had already made and then take a break from it on the blog for a while so I could have the time I needed to do what my heart was truly called to do. As it turned out, that break I knew He was calling me to take ended up being a break from the blog as a whole for a while. At the beginning of November, with only one book reviewing commitment left to fulfill, I slipped on our stairs and fell, fracturing my left foot while seven months pregnant. I spent the next six weeks having to stay off my foot while somehow continuing to homeschool and take care of our other seven children. Thankfully, I have an amazing husband and some amazing children. My husband stepped in as much as he could while also working four jobs. Our two oldest daughters stepped up to the plate and took over so many of the things I couldn’t do from cooking to doing the dishes to helping make sure the little ones were cared for when I couldn’t. I don’t know what I would have done without all of them.

After staying off my foot for six weeks, I started slowly walking on it with the help of crutches and a boot. I was able to begin walking on it without the boot just in time for the baby to arrive. Our sweet Adeline arrived mid January. And while she is precious, she was also quite colicky up until very recently which made getting back into the swing of things after her birth a little bit difficult. Newborns always cause a lack of sleep, but this was rougher than our usual. I’ve spent a lot of the last three and half months desperate to the point of tears for sleep. Did I mention that during all of this my husband currently has four jobs? And that we are now in the throes of softball season for daughter #2 and baseball season for our son? Along with our other regularly scheduled gymnastics and violin lessons for some of our other daughters? It’s been more than a little crazy lately. But even in the midst of the craziness, I have slowly felt the call to blog again building in me, so this is the attempt to start again after a much needed and unavoidable break. As I start back up, I will still be doing some book reviews (I have one that I’ve needed to do since November), but they will no longer be the focus. I need to get back to the heart of things, the heart of who He’s made me to be. I will be figuring out more about where God’s directing me and seeing what He has in store and where a balance may be for doing those things.

I just want to say that I love how God keeps calling me back to this, back to this blog. It was started five years ago and there have been many breaks along the way. Some due to me falling away from His calling at times, some because I struggled to believe His calling on me, and others because He guided me to take a break. Though there have been breaks, He always calls me back. And each time it only confirms and cements in me further His calling. It resonates with me in a way that is difficult to explain when I am finally able to sit down and write again. It’s a part of me, something He’s placed inside of me that goes beyond me as a wife, as a mom. I can’t wait to see all that He has in store. I know it will be infinitely greater that anything I can imagine or cook up.

Quick disclaimer: We are still in this busy season of life with extra jobs and somewhat colicky babies among other things, so while I hope to begin posting again more regularly, it may be intermittent still for a while.