When God first laid it on my heart to start this blog, it started with a discussion a friend and I had while we were on our way to a nearby bigger city to go shopping. We were discussing our faults as moms. As we talked, I thought, “I need to start a “bad moms” club where we can come and admit that we are NOT the perfect moms all the time, not by the world’s standard and not by God’s standard. We mess up. We don’t always have it all together. There are days when we speak too sharply to our children. There are times when we lose patience with our children. There are days when we are angry and/or frustrated and we end up yelling at our children. There are days when we hurt our children with our words or actions. There are days when our children are yelling and speaking harshly to one another and it’s because that’s the behavior we have given them to model. There are days where we find ourselves training our children by force rather than love.
We don’t want to act that way or do those things, but we let the flesh and the enemy get the best of us. And then, instead of taking it to God and surrendering it to Him, we look at how we have messed up and we say to ourselves, “Oh man, I’ve really messed up and I just keep messing up.” We look at the mess we have created in ourselves, in our homes, and in our relationships with our children, and we sink into a feeling of despair because our eyes are not on The One who heals and redeems.
If you have ever experienced any of what I talked about above, I am here to tell you that there is hope. God is our hope. The Holy Spirit He has placed in us at the moment of our salvation is our hope. He lives and works in us “both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13, NKJV) It is a matter of giving Him control of us, control of our flesh, and letting Him work in us. Sometimes that can begin as a painful process because there are things we have to admit, sins we have to confess and be cleansed from and set free from, in order for Him to be free to work in our lives. BUT He can and will work in us if we will let Him. I know because He works in my own life in such a way. When I have spent time with Him before I start my day and I have turned to Him and given Him control, my attitude drastically changes. He provides me with patience toward my children and a soft voice that speaks words of encouragement and blessing over them rather than words that hurt and speak a curse over them.
“On my own, I’m so clumsy.” This line from Francesca Battistelli’s song “Free to be Me“ is true, but it puts it kind of mildly. On my own, I am a MESS. On my own, I can do NOTHING that is any good or has a good lasting impact. On my own, I am MEAN. On my own, I am UNHAPPY. On my own, I do not like who I am; BUT with God in control, with God living through me, I am PUT TOGETHER, I can do ANYTHING He desires and it WILL have a good lasting impact, I am NICE and KIND, I am HAPPY and JOYFUL.
I am still learning how to let Him have control every day. I still have moments where I mess up, moments where I slip and fall, but I cannot let the enemy drag me down and beat me up over those moments. I have to turn back to Him, confess to Him, and surrender to Him again. No one is perfect. “They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt; There is no one who does good, not even one.” (Psalms 14:3, NASB) BUT if we have accepted His free gift of salvation, we have The One who IS PERFECT living in us! And He is always at work, working out His will in our lives. “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6, NASB) He is at work in us! We will make mistakes, we will mess up, but we do not have to despair. There is hope. God, living in us, is our hope. “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” (Colossians 1:27, NIV)
I love my children and they love me. The hurts I have caused them and the walls that I cause to be put up in our relationship come down when I let the Lord have control. He brings those walls down and brings healing. My relationship with my children is so different when He is in control. They are encouraged and I am encouraged. They can talk to me about anything and I listen patiently and answer gently. It is all HIM!
Learning to let Him live through me,
P.S. (or food for thought): Remember we all mess up, but there is hope. We have a loving Father that is able to fix our mess ups and guide us daily into a relationship with Him where He lives through us. He loves you no matter how you mess up. You don’t have to do this on your own. He desires to live this life through you.
One thought on “The “Bad Moms” Club”
Amen! Thank you for being obedient and speaking God’s truth boldly! The truth will set us free. I find that one of the hardest things to say to my children is “I’m sorry.” It means, I made a mistake, I messed up. Which should be easy, but as a parent for some reason it is so hard to show our children that we mess up and make mistakes. However, when I don’t say I’m sorry for when I sin against my children, it can make their hearts hard toward me and eventually even toward God. We must live by example, even when we are wrong, we must apologize.