I never thought I would be a blogger. In fact, I really have fought against this. Several months ago, I felt God calling me to begin a blog. At first, I jotted down notes about what He was telling me, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to do it. I’m not completely sure why I have had such an aversion to doing this. I know that some of it has to do with the comments I have seen on blogs I have read before which I guess really ultimately comes down to a feeling of being exposed. Putting myself out there, my thoughts, etc. and then having to deal with feedback that may upset me. (Those of you who know me, know that I can be pretty passionate about what I think or believe.) I have avoided blogging because I didn’t know what kind of response to expect. The truth is I don’t even know what all God wants me to blog about so I have no idea what may come of it. There may not even be much negativity to deal with. But what if He calls me to say something that not everyone is going to like? What if someone responds in an argumentative way? What if I don’t have the right words to defend what I have said? What if, at some point, I have to admit I was wrong about something? Ugh! All those thoughts and more have kept me from pursuing what God told me to do. The reality is, though, that I will not be doing this to be popular or to be pleasing to whoever reads it. I have to do this because God has told me to, and, if that is why I am doing this, then I have to trust Him. I have to say what He lays on my heart and I have to be obedient to Him no matter what anybody else thinks. And if anyone does respond in a negative way, or even in a way that just expresses a different point of view, it will just be an opportunity for God to work in me, to teach me, to stretch me, to change me.
During this battle, I have asked why He wants me to do this and the truth is I don’t fully know, and I may never know every reason why. I do know one thing He showed me when He first brought this to my heart was that the blog is for me, for me to have accountability. Over the months, as I have argued and wrestled with this, I somehow lost sight of that. I had worried about people not getting anything out of this blog. I felt pressure when I thought about trying to blog in a certain way, to be like what I have already seen out there in the blogging world. The weight of those worries and concerns with trying to be something I am not wore me down. But God finally got through to me again, and reminded me of what He told me to begin with. In the past few weeks, as the need to become obedient to His plan in this area of my life has gotten to a point where I could no longer put it off, He has brought this very reason back to my heart and mind. This blog is for me. It is for stretching me and changing me and holding me accountable. While I don’t know what the content will be for these blogs, I do know that much.
I have struggled with this for months and I am finally giving in! I am going to become a blogger, something I never thought I would do for a lot of reasons, but I am doing it in obedience to the Lord, so here goes! You are welcome to join me as I discover what He has in store and maybe more about why He has told me to do this. I make no promises about what this blog will be like. I don’t know what will be discussed or how it will be delivered. I have no plan. It is His. The only thing that I can say is that, at this point, I believe it will be a once week blog. So, if you choose to join me on this journey, I will see you next week!
Following His plan,
P.S. (or food for thought): Is there something you’ve been avoiding that God has been telling you to do? Let me tell you that there is freedom in obedience! The weight lifts when we come into obedience to the Lord.